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Zwischen Meisterin und Schülern
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Schnuppern Sie hinein in die freimütigen Gespräche zwischen der Höchsten Meisterin Ching Hai und ihren Schülern, über Themen, die von Spiritualität bis hin zum täglichen Leben reichen, und erhalten Sie auch seltene Einblicke in andere Reiche jenseits der Erde. Wir müssen unsere Herzen jedem edlen Einfluss, jeder edler Gesellschaft öffnen; wir müssen diese Chance nutzen. Wenn wir dann der Ansicht sind, dass es das höchste Ziel der Menschheit ist, das Niveau unserer Reinheit und unserer Weisheit anzuheben, dann müssen wir uns darum bemühen.~ Die Höchste Meisterin Ching Hai (Veganerin) Weltberühmte Wohltäterin, Künstlerin und spirituelle Meisterin

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Shivas 112 Weisen der Konzentration III, Teil 2 von 8

32:05

Shivas 112 Weisen der Konzentration III, Teil 2 von 8

There was a person who lived until 100 years old. So, of course, he was on television, and in the newspapers and all that. And one of the television journalists, just out of ordinary politeness, told him, “Alright, so goodbye, sir, and I hope to see you again next year, the same, on this program.” So the 100-year-old man said, “Well, I don’t see why not. You look very healthy now.”There was a girl
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-06-12   662 Views
2026-06-12
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Shivas 112 Weisen der Konzentration III, Teil 1 von 8

33:21

Shivas 112 Weisen der Konzentration III, Teil 1 von 8

Everybody [gets] half or what? Alright, [let’s see] if they have enough food for you. Not bad. Enough for everybody? (Yes.) If not, what do you do? You ask people. Right? You go in the kitchen and ask? (Yes. Yes.) OK. Help them. Because sometimes they eat more than they cook for themselves, they can never cook enough. Sometimes the food is good so you eat more of it, so you have to tell them if th
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-06-11   1024 Views
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2026-06-11
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Lachend in den Himmel, Teil 7 von 8

32:27

Lachend in den Himmel, Teil 7 von 8

One man said to the other, “I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know that her first name was Always.” “Always Right.” (“Always Right.”) She’s really happy, isn’t she? She laughs the loudest and laughs continuously at anything at all. I like happy people. Especially when she spends somebody else’s. Now I’ve learned the secret to being happy. All I do is just “look for a guy, you know, to be a succe
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-05-29   2449 Views
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2026-05-29
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Lachend in den Himmel, Teil 6 von 8

32:16

Lachend in den Himmel, Teil 6 von 8

A secondary school student asked his teacher if a person should be punished for something he had not done or not. “No,” said the teacher, “Of course not. Why should you be punished for something you haven’t done? You didn’t do it. Right?” So, the boy said, “Good. I haven’t done my homework.” (Excellent.)A husband was escorting his wife to a concert, and they arrived late. So… Oh, we already did th
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-05-28   2443 Views
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2026-05-28
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Lachend in den Himmel, Teil 5 von 8

32:54

Lachend in den Himmel, Teil 5 von 8

Oh, this is a private joke. Should I tell? (No.) (Yes.) It’s like bedroom joke stuff or something. Maybe not too polite or something. I forgot already anyway. I’ve just written here: “private.” So be warned. I read first and if I write “private,” that means something not very groovy. So if you want to hear it, I’ll read it to you. Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The bu
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-05-27   2654 Views
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2026-05-27
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Lachend in den Himmel, Teil 4 von 8

33:01

Lachend in den Himmel, Teil 4 von 8

Johnny has been to a birthday party, and knowing his weakness, his mother looked him straight in the eyes and said, “I hope you didn’t ask for a second piece of (vegan) cake.” So, Johnny said, “No, no, no, I didn’t. I only asked Mrs. Jones for the recipe so you could make some more like it at home. And she gave me two more pieces.”So clever. No need to ask anything, just say, “Wow, your (vegan) ca
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-05-26   2632 Views
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2026-05-26
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Lachend in den Himmel, Teil 3 von 8

31:02

Lachend in den Himmel, Teil 3 von 8

Are you OK? You need some (vegan) candy, whoever? She just plays like that so she can get that (vegan) candy. Why are you laughing now? (Because everybody’s got a cough.) Oh. Too bad, too bad. Too bad. No more (vegan) candies. I mean, no more of that kind of (vegan) candy. Oh, yeah, there’s some. You want some? (No.) You want one? (No.) In any case, not enough for everybody. So, might as well give
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-05-25   2726 Views
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2026-05-25
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Lachend in den Himmel, Teil 2 von 8

33:30

Lachend in den Himmel, Teil 2 von 8

Johnny, a boy, a schoolboy, heard that every adult has a secret, so if you say, “I tell you, I know the truth about the whole thing,” they will be shocked, and even if you know nothing at all, maybe they will tell you everything else. So after school, Johnny came home and told his mom, “Mom, I know all the truth about the whole thing.” So, the mother was very shocked and gave him a hundred dollars
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-05-24   2892 Views
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2026-05-24
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Mit Freude leben, Teil 7 von 7

31:58

Mit Freude leben, Teil 7 von 7

Should we finish it? (Yes.) Yeah? Can you still laugh? (Yes.) Or you’re too tired to laugh? (No.) No? OK. Does somebody need to go to the airport? No? (I think not.) Are you still OK? If you have to go, you go.A young man had been sitting in the drawing room [for] a long time, and it was getting late. Suddenly, the door opened and her (his girlfriend’s) father entered. He coughed a little bit, cle
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-22   3286 Views
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2026-04-22
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Mit Freude leben, Teil 6 von 7

33:12

Mit Freude leben, Teil 6 von 7

A guy said, “I haven’t slept for days.” And the second guy said: “How come?” The first guy said, “I only sleep at night.” Ha-ha-ha. Some joke. I don’t see any other jokes. Probably I went only up to there. So the rest I have to check out. OK? It cannot be that all these are not good jokes. Good, good. Next time, next time. We put it here. OK. So we know we’ve been there. Done that. Alright. We’ll
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-21   3388 Views
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2026-04-21
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Mit Freude leben, Teil 5 von 7

31:53

Mit Freude leben, Teil 5 von 7

A woman went into a shoe shop and said, “I would like a pair of alligator shoes.” So, the male salesman said, “Yes, ma’am. What size is your alligator?” You are so funny. I say, it’s OK, but I didn’t think it was that funny. And you’re laughing yourselves silly. I like that. Good audience, good audience.Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were camping together. You know Sherlock Holmes? He’s a detectiv
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-20   3354 Views
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2026-04-20
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Mit Freude leben, Teil 4 von 7

30:38

Mit Freude leben, Teil 4 von 7

A surgeon advised a musician who played the violin that he would have to undergo an operation. The patient said, “But, Doc, I have concerts booked already. If you operate, can I be assured that I will be able to play the violin in two weeks’ time?” So the doctor said, “No problem, no problem. The last patient on whom I performed this operation was playing a harp within 24 hours.” No, I guess he ju
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-19   3375 Views
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2026-04-19
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Mit Freude leben, Teil 3 von 7

32:47

Mit Freude leben, Teil 3 von 7

There was a vampire bat(-person) –the bat(-person) who takes blood, I guess – came flapping from the night, and he was all covered in fresh blood, and he landed himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. And soon, all the other bat(-people) smelled the blood and came and were hassling him about where he got it. He told them to bug off and let him get some sleep, but they would not leave hi
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-18   3380 Views
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2026-04-18
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Mit Freude leben, Teil 2 von 7

31:45

Mit Freude leben, Teil 2 von 7

Come on, this is just a house. Wow, I feel better. It’s better, huh? (Yes.) Now, we can laugh. I love those things too but just to make the SM Celestial Clothes happy, and the Supreme Master TV, and the photo department happy. Now. OK, you got it? The next one is… I think I’ve told this story already. I’m not sure. In case you heard it already, you just laugh a little bit. Or boo in the middle, so
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-17   3547 Views
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2026-04-17
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Mit Freude leben, Teil 1 von 7

41:05

Mit Freude leben, Teil 1 von 7

New people? (Yes.) A lot of… English(-speaking)? (Yes.) OK. All the Westerners come here. All the English-speaking Westerners, the black, the white, the yellow, the red, the stripes. You come here. You’re good? You guys are going or coming? (Going.) Now? (9:00 to 9:30.) 9:30. Wow, you have two hours and a half. (Yes.) Ah, good, good enough, good enough, good enough. Yeah, yeah. Come in, come in, c
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-16   3987 Views
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2026-04-16
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 8 von 8

34:49

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 8 von 8

The school has just released the grades of the final exams. Mom asked, “Liza, I heard Rose next door got 99 points in math. What about you?” So, Liza said proudly, “I got one more point than her.” Mom was happy, “You got 100 points, girl?” Liza said, “No, I got 9.9.” Only 99 points, and this one, 9.9.A distinctive businessman, Jack, told his son one day, “I have selected a girl whom you are to mar
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-15   3208 Views
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2026-04-15
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 7 von 8

33:49

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 7 von 8

One day, two schoolgirls went to the library to review lessons. Kate was helping Lily with the revision. “What’s the meaning of this word?” So, Lily scratched her head and said, “I forgot. Beats me (idiom for ‘I don’t know’).” So, Kate beat Lily and then told her the meaning of the word. A few days later, they went to the library together again. Kate asked Lily again the meaning of that word. Lily
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-14   3306 Views
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2026-04-14
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 6 von 8

29:50

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 6 von 8

Sonny said to Dad, “Dad, what is creeping inflation?” His father said, “Creeping inflation is when your mother starts out asking for new shoes and ends up with a complete new outfit.” Are there such families? They always complain about women’s spending. I don’t know, is it true? (Yes.) (It’s true.) (Sometimes.)A plane is about to take off. An airline hostess announces, “Ladies and gentlemen, pleas
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-13   3232 Views
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2026-04-13
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 5 von 8

32:39

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 5 von 8

A recruiting ad for a French learning class says the following, “If you find you do not like this course and want to quit after the first class, you can request to refund your tuition, but you must say this in French.” Then you have to stay. Right? (Yes.) You understand? (Yes.)A teacher said to the students, “Why did you do so poorly on the exam?” Kitty, “The degrees of my glasses are not good eno
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-12   3361 Views
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2026-04-12
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 4 von 8

29:27

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 4 von 8

The teacher asked a student, “Why don’t you brush your teeth? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.” The student said, “What did I have?” The teacher said, “Cornflakes.” So, the student said, “You are wrong. That was yesterday.”A little boy was praying in the church. “Oh, dear God, I have a small wish. Please move the capital to New York.” A priest nearby heard him and asked him, “Why
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-11   3533 Views
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2026-04-11
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
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