Now. You want another joke? (Yes.) Yeah? (Yes.) I have a book of jokes here. Now talking about weaknesses, I have another story for you. Another priest came to a kind of very famous practitioner, a Jewish rabbi, and asked him something concerning his personality. The priest, the lower priest asked, because he has a very bad temper. He said, “What shall I do with my tongue? Whenever I’m in the public, whenever I’m with somebody, I just cut them with it. My tongue is so sharp, it’s like a razor, and I can’t control it. I always criticize people. I see their weakness, I see their shortcomings, and even their good deeds, I can see them with a very inferior motive, so I cut them through. And I lost a lot of friends, business, I lost people, I lost the devotees, everything. What shall I do with my tongue?” Do you know what the rabbi said? Guess. (Cut it off.) Cut it off? You’re barbarous. Terrible. Then I should cut mine first. Then you have no more jokes.
So anyhow, the superior rabbi of Jews, advised the person like this: “Well, when we want to live with the multitude, when we want to live with others in harmony and peace, then we must be round, so that we can face every [one] of them. We should not be so square. If we are too square, so square, we cannot live with other people.” And so the priest said, “Oh, thank you, Father. I know that. OK, thank you. I will try my best.” And very humbly, he begged for the high rabbi’s blessing. But the high rabbi said, “I myself cannot live with people, therefore I live alone.”
Yeah, yeah. Well, I said to you sometimes, I really “worship” you. I respect you a lot because you can live with a lot of people. Everybody told me that to be enlightened, to be a monk, to live alone in the mountains is very difficult. But I found it’s easier than the way you live your life. Like, you live with many people, like your grandpa, grandma, and then maybe a step-grandpa, step-grandma, and then father, mother, and then stepfather, stepmother, and then sister, and brother, step-brother, step-sister, and then your sister, and your nephews, and your nieces, and then your own knees, and your own children, everybody. Sometimes you don’t live together, that many people, but then you’re often in contact with each other, having parties and all that. I don’t know how you manage. It’s really a wonder that you can manage. So, the rabbi said that those who live in society, live with other people, are strong. He lives away from people, not because he is strong but because of his weakness that he cannot get on with people, that he cuts with the tongue too. So, anybody with a sharp tongue should consider; come to Hsihu and hide your tongue.
Actually, it’s very difficult to live with people. But a lot of people can. People can do that, the whole world. Don’t they? You do too? You find it good? Amazing. Marvelous. Get on well with each other. (Sometimes.) What? (Sometimes we have a sharp tongue.) Sometimes. But sometimes, that’s OK. Sometimes is OK. Not that only sometimes you don’t have a sharp tongue, then it’s troublesome. I’m always surprised to find how people can live with each other [for] so long, or love each other so much. Even like your President Nixon, when his wife died, I heard that he nearly died himself. In fact, he did later. But he was very, very emotionally hurt by his wife’s departure. And they were old already and he was president, and he was a tough guy. Well as far as we know.
And I wonder how come people can be that attached to each other so much that a part of themselves is gone when the other person is gone. It’s a wonderful thing. Or not? (No.) No? No? Why not? Well, if you can love a person like that, it’s fine. What? (I think it’s fine.) You think it’s fine. Yes, some people are like that. And they grow old with each other, and they have been so faithful. And sometimes it touched me too. I feel very touched that people in this world are still so faithful with each other.
Alright, you want another joke? (Yes.) (Why not?) My “Book of Wisdom.” Alright. We have a lot of incorrect ideas as practitioners. For example, many people think that they should follow the way of the Buddha, forsake everything and go out and beg for our necessity, and live a very, very bare, simple life, just like the bear(-person), picking berries and things like that. And maybe in that case, we will become very holy or become wise. But that kind of life is not the kind of life that offers us wisdom and Buddhahood. It is that the Buddhahood is already there. When the Buddha attained Buddhahood, it’s not because he ate berries and lived a bear(-person) life, bare-necessity life. Have you watched the film, “The Jungle Book” – bare necessity, eating bananas, berries, and things like that. This won’t give you enlightenment. Enlightenment comes alone whenever we seek it. When the time is ripe, enlightenment comes. But not from any kind of physical abuse or asceticism.
So there is a joke in Zen Buddhism. Not a joke really, because it’s kind of a good story. Oh, in Sufism. Sufism is a branch within Islam, which is more, maybe more liberal, more enlightened. Maybe they have a lineage of Enlightened Masters. So, it is said like this. There was a man wandering into the deep forest, and one day… no, he just went perhaps for sightseeing or to do some business. Then one day, he happened to see a fox(-person) who lost all his legs. So he was wondering, “How can the fox(-person) survive in this jungle having no legs anymore?” So he kept watching, watching, watching. And then he saw a tiger who brought game back and then ate it. And then whatever was left over, the fox(-person) fed himself from that. That’s how. “Ah!” Now he knows. That’s how he survived. Then the next day again, God also fed the fox(-person) through the tiger again.
So the man was somewhat thinking that he was enlightened now. He said, “Ah, we have to depend on God. We must trust God, and then He will provide everything for us.” So, he dropped his business, forgot his wife and kids, and didn’t even go to Hsihu Center for group meditation anymore. He just sat there in the forest and tried to surrender to God, and God would bring provisions to him. So he sat there, meditating on God. And he didn’t even recite the Five (Holy) Names or Namo the Supreme Master, Supreme Master Ching Hai SUMA Tzu name even. He said, “Why? I just trust God. Why should I recite anybody’s name? I trust God. I love God. I believe God. I fear God. That’s enough for me. I surrender everything to God.” So he sat there, and he waited for maybe vegan butter and vegan cakes, bread, vegan cheese, tofu, to arrive. First day, nothing arrived. So he continued to sit there. He said God tests his faith. So he sat there another day. Second day, no tofu ever appeared, and no cabbage grew from the earth in front of his nose. Nothing happened.
So he thought, “Ah. God must be testing my courage and my belief. Of course, I’ll show Hirm. I’ll show Hirm my faith, my surrender ability, and my unwavering, unshaken trust in God.” So, he sat there again and kept waiting. Third day came, nothing happened. No vegan butter, no bread, no vegan cheese, no tofu, no cabbage, no carrot, not even water from rain. Now, he failed. The test from his throat, the test from his stomach, the test from his limbs, not from God necessarily, but from all over his body. All the spare parts of his body began to try not to spare him. So, he was suffering and trying to think what happened.
And he said, praying to God, “Please, don’t test me any further. I truly trust You. I really surrender to You. My faith in You is unshaken. It can never die.” So there came a voice from Heaven… or maybe from his stomach, I don’t know. It said like this, “Oh, you stupid... why do you learn the way of a disabled fox(-person)? Wake up, walk away, and be the way of the tiger(-person). Don’t learn the way of the disabled fox(-person).” So, you got it? (Yes.) Got it. Good.
Photo Caption: “What EDEN-LIKE Scenery!”
