You see, most of you could have come and stayed with me also. But you’re going to leave because the life is not the way you’re used to, and you will expect something more. Now, you are happy because I’m here, and you’ve been on retreat, and you’re blessed, and your level go up, and you don’t care what. But when you go there, it’s different. You’ll feel like you miss your old life, and you miss your comfort and all that. So, some of you are not coming because of that. Otherwise, I would just take anybody, everybody.
OK, guys. All these [are] from downstairs and upstairs, everybody, right? Or just upstairs? (Downstairs.) Downstairs, also? (Yes, Master.) They all know about it, right? (They know this, yes.) They’re all here now? (Yes.) Wow! Yeah, I guess such news, they can’t miss, right? It’s not possible that downstairs doesn’t know, right? All the rooms, everybody knows already? (Yes.) How do you know that? (Well, we sent in the sound to the TVs in each room on the...) Oh, they were all watching while we were talking. (Yes.) Or at least they were listening. (Listening, yes.) So they all sent their messengers coming with the little thing.
So everybody who gave their card is here? (Yes.) ID cards are here? (Yes.) OK. Well, I have good news and bad news. You want good news first or bad news first? (Good news.) Good news first, yes. Good news is that I love all of you, with ID or without ID, and coming or going. The bad news is that some of you will not be able to come – not now, maybe later. Or some of you are destined to work somewhere else or to do something else. Or to iron out some other things in your life, in your karma or your destiny, in order to progress perhaps. And some of you maybe wouldn’t be able to stand long, so might as well pack now. Do you capiche me? (Yes.)
Now Master is here, and She’s beautiful, and She’s smiling, and we have (vegan) cakes, so... We have Buddha’s birthday (vegan) cakes, so it’s alright. Please come here also. There are some places here. Anybody, don’t worry, come over. And mind your head. Come here, don’t worry, there are some places. And some places in front. Let them come, let them come. Come, come whoever’s there, come here quickly, before the bad news come. Yes, you sit there, somebody else sits in front of you, it’s fine. Come, sit in front here or if you don’t have a place already…? No? Then you sit there, there, it’s fine. Anybody come, come, come. Come sit there, sit there, sit there. Just not in front of camera. There, there, there sit on my carpet it’s fine. Sit there, there you are, there, there, there. And some more there, there, there, there. And come in front there and then go sit there, and sit here. Sit anywhere, quickly!
Now, the bad news begins. Not really bad news, no! As all of you know, it’s really impossible to have this chunk of people, bundle of people, come to my house anyway. That is also part of the bad news because it is not a hotel. If I accept all of these, then I might as well just stay here. And then we continue business as usual, every day like this. Whoever can stay stays; maybe one day it will be like that. So, right now, it’s not yet possible. I have dog-people, I have bird-people. I don’t know where to put them. If I put you, I don’t know where to put them. So, there must be some place first. Even if I stay here, there must be some other place, like come and go, nearby, next door, or something like that. But we don’t have it.
And also... I don’t know. If we see each other every day, you might get fed up also. And you leave me, and then I will get hurt. You’ll find all kinds of excuses and blame it all on me, for sure. Never mind. Or even if you don’t blame me verbally, you’ll blame me inside: “It’s all Your fault!” It’s all my fault, yeah. It’s usual. So now, I will be able just to take a part of these people, just for a trial period. OK? So, don’t divorce your husband yet! Or don’t say to your wife, “Go get another boyfriend” yet, because you might be in for a surprise. When you come back and she’s really with another boyfriend, don’t blame me! I’m just kidding. But, like every job, you need a little time to adjust and to feel that you’re OK or not OK. You capiche (understand)? (Yes.) Yeah, capiche! Good, good! Very good! Wonderful!
Now it’s like that. So, I’ll be able to take just some of the people. And the rest – maybe another time, or maybe not suitable, or maybe if you come, you will leave anyway, too soon. And why bother to leave your job, leave your beautiful boyfriend or girlfriend, and come and then realize, “Oops! Oops! Uh-oh! Mistake!” Sorry, come back, can’t find a job again, and the boyfriend, girlfriend, are also “sayonara (goodbye)” a long time already and holding hands with somebody else right in front of your face. That would hurt terribly. I don’t want that to happen to you because it really hurts. It really hurts. When you already think that you’ve got everything, and then you come, you lose everything, it’d be terrible. So don’t be sad. Be happy that you still have me as a Master, can go to group meditation, can always come see me. And I will not scold you. I only “beat” you up! What for, tiring my mouth also? Use a stick; the stick won’t get tired. And if it breaks, I’ll get another. I only beat your ego up. Even if I do, I’m so small; how can I hurt you so much, anyway? Your head is so hard it might break my sticks instead.
I’m not sure if I really checked... Don’t worry, I didn’t check your past. Don’t worry. I didn’t check like, “OK, what did she do?” Or, “Anything wrong?” No details like that. It’s like, “Is this person suitable or not suitable?” That’s it, or if she can bear hardship or not. Because sometimes you won’t have room! I told you already. Even in the hotel here, you don’t have room. Look at this. How’d you have room here, even if I stayed here with you in the hotel? And we can’t keep building the hotel forever, no? And then no time to meditate, no money for [Supreme Master] TV. No money to even buy more hotels.
So don’t worry about it. Everywhere you go, you have my love. You can feel it all the time! You are not with me, staying with me, but you have my love, no? (Yes.) Don’t you feel I love you, or not? (Yes.) You must be stupid not to feel it! Or you’re insensitive to such an extent. Or maybe “head’s damaged.” “Head’s damaged” means kaput! So, it doesn’t matter if we live together or not. We take our own road.
Alright. And these, some people, can come and try for a while. And you pray for them. Don’t be envious and say, “Oh! What does she have that I don’t have?” Never mind. It’s OK. We all work together inside, in the heart. And maybe because of so many people in my house, I’ll be able to see you more often. Or maybe we’ll have more luck and more time and more everything. Or I don’t have to walk around the platform of the train station for two days. Maybe it’ll happen better. They take care of the house or my job, and then I go see you. And then you’ll feel sorry for them: “Aha! Now you all have to stay at home, like a housewife! And we come, have a retreat!”
Will you think like that if you stay with me? For example, [if] you stay in my house, and I’m gone - on a retreat, I’m not going to take all of you. I can’t. Will you stay home and feel miserable? (No!) Or envious of the people who are coming to see me on retreat? (No!) Are you sure? (Yes!) Ah, yeah. Maybe you’ll see me too much, and you’ll get fed up anyway and say, “Whoa! Thank God She is gone! Ah, for a few days! Why only three days? It could be a couple more weeks. My God! Why does She stay home so long? Every day we see Her and She tells us what to do! My God! Now we can just put our feet up, and nobody checks what we’re doing anymore.” It could happen also that way, I think. So either way, you win. The ones who don’t come also win. The ones who come think they win.
We will try it this way because up to now, I’ve just lived with a few people. Now, I’m venturing into living with many more people, so just give me a little chance here. Give me a little time – testing, testing, you know? If I take all of you like this, my God, it would be too overwhelming, in any case. Coming from a retreat – like isolation, from just a few attendants up to a few tens. Like maybe, I don’t know, are 50 people in there or more? How much can that weigh? Karma! Oh! How much can that be? How many can that be? And some more in there, some eleven in there. So, the thing is, even if I wanted to take all of you, even if it were possible that you all could come, it’s a little bit overwhelming to organize all that. Even if with tents, we have to know if there’s a place for tents or not. I’m sure there is a place, but then we’d have to level the ground or cut up some grass or some small branches. That’s the thing.
And it could be a little bit much for all of us also, suddenly jumping in together and then rubbing our karma and rubbing personalities. It could be too much for everybody. So, I take a small dose at a time. Like all good things, you cannot take too much. Even vitamins, you shouldn’t take a whole big bottle at the same time, right? (Yes.) Or even the good food down there; do you eat the whole pot? (No.) You can’t, right? So, I will try. If these people behave well, they represent you well, maybe I’ll take more later. Is that OK? (Yes!)
Look so nervous, some people! Look so nervous, can’t even smile! For God’s sake, have some humor! Win or lose, it’s just a game! You guys look so nervous and make me so scared! I don’t dare to announce who’s coming, who’s going. Maybe we do it quietly. But how? How? They’re everywhere! Their eyes are... Ah, might as well go public, huh? (Yes!) (No public.) No, go public! Otherwise, you can’t even meditate until the day you go. And you’ll also bug me. OK. Here’s the bad news, wrapped in pink. If any comfort to you, it’s pink color. I mean, return it to people, and if somebody is not here, please take it for him or her, if it’s your husband [or] your wife. So they know it, otherwise they feel very nervous already. Give it to each other, please.
You see, most of you could have come and stayed with me also. But you’re going to leave because the life is not the way you’re used to, and you will expect something more. Now, you are happy because I’m here, and you’ve been on retreat, and you’re blessed, and your level go up, and you don’t care what. But when you go there, it’s different. You’ll feel like you miss your old life, and you miss your comfort and all that. So, some of you are not coming because of that. Otherwise, I would just take anybody, everybody. I used to do that with the residents. Everybody came and just stayed, no problem. But then later on, we had problems because they didn’t like the life they had, and it was too hard living in a tent. Before, we lived only in tents, even! And now we have caves; it’s more comfortable. So they stay longer, of course. But what I mean is, right now, I don’t have that many rooms for people – even to squeeze in. So, we just have to go slow, OK, guys?
Anybody hard feelings? Yes? What? What is that? Painful? OK, guys, I still have to talk to these people. Don’t be too happy yet. These are just kind of first screening. But I still have to ask them; maybe they have a visa problem, maybe they have debts, maybe they have a family problem, maybe whatever. We will have to check it out again. So after, all of you go to my room or that screening room over there or whatever. We’ll see. Now everybody’s sad? (Yes.) (Yes, some.) Some of you… I don’t know; it just happened like that. Not even I wanted it. I want just to be easy, take everybody! It’s nice, cool, to live in a big house with many people together. But some of you will not be able to bear the hard life, living in a tent or whatever. At the moment, you think it’s cool, but it’s not when it’s zero degrees at night. Anyway, we will see if these people last, even. You watch. But I’m sure they will last, the eleven people, yeah? If you lived like me, without a tent, would you last? (Yes.) All you need is just a sub-zero sleeping bag and sub-zero clothes. Let the wind blow into your face, and close your eyes. Like this, you meditate longer because you can’t open your eyes; it’s too windy. Like the way I live, sometimes.
Sometimes I escape from my duties as a “zookeeper” to go into a camping area – also in the private, fenced property – and I just sit there. Without the tent, I would sit longer; I would like it better. With the tent, I feel limited. I feel... oh, it feels like it’s not the same place anymore, and I left. So, I’m going home to take the tent away and just bear the wind again and see how it goes. Just more warm clothes. But in winter, they have for sale. Right now, they don’t sell warm clothes. That’s the problem. That’s why I was shivering. And the sleeping bag was also like a summer sleeping bag. They didn’t sell sub-zero (sleeping bags). Oh, that was something! And I went to a sports shop; I bought one. But I haven’t used it yet because I put up the tent, and it didn’t feel the same anymore. I don’t know what went wrong, but I’m going to take the tent off – see if I’m OK again. Now and again, I need to escape. I love the dog-people, I love the bird-people, I love the people, but I need to escape and go there for a few days, you know, just to shiver.
